A few of Sophia's Sweet Big Girl Room

Since we've moved I've been able to put quite a few projects under my belt, like building shelf for B.Studios ( Until Otherwise named ),organizing a massive home, re finsihing the coffee table I've hated since we bought it, and this..
I have quite a bit more work to do, painting the walls for one. But here are a few pictures of her new big girl room.. a work in progress.

Saturday at the park

Had the day to ourselves this past Saturday. It was quite a busy day. Saturdays mean dance class, and dance class means that mommies get to dress up their little dolls in tutus and ballet tights. This is what mom's dream of doing with their little girls, when they dream of having a little girl.

After dance class we had to make an hour long drive down to La Vernia where my B.Studios..( soon to be renamed.. something else, not sure yet.. Tot Sprinkles or something like that) shop is located. We had to pick up mommy's profits for the month, all of 50.00.. yay! But still we could always use the money. I also took a few items from the shop to give to my niece whose birthday is around the corner. I have two nieces with the same exact birthday. Halloween, it really is a small world.

After La Vernia I called my grandma Nancy. I am named after her if you ever wonder where I got this old fashion name from.. it'd be from her, and I don't mind, because I adore her.
Its been such a long while since I have taken time to sit and talk with her.. and we did just that today. It was a great visit. 

From Grandma's we headed to the park to do two photo shoots. One for a 9 mth old and one for a 7 year old. They went great, and Phia was a doll, as usual, anything outside satisfies her need to run, jump and talk.

A few photos from the shoots that day,

Love me some baby feet

Parenthood.. hello.

I called into work on Monday because Sophia refused to go to sleep Sunday night. We basically sat in her rocking chair all night, cried and fussed and loved on one another. All this after quite an amazing, great weekend. We did some photography shoots and even did a mini session for Sophia and daddy.

Then on Tuesday she stayed home with daddy because he was home and thought they could use some quality time together. As far as they've both told me, it was a golden day of backyard photography, a visit to Grammy's house, and they even cleaned the house for mommy! What a great bunch I have!

Today, which is Wednesday.. my morning with Sophia was.. lets say rocky to say the least. I really missed her on Tuesday, without her banter on the way to and from school/work, and my car felt remarkably empty and way too big without her. Whats the point of driving an SUV without a kid in the back? No point at all, just a waste of gas if you ask me.

So, first she didn't want to eat breakfast so she pushed it off the table in a mad fit, so I took it away from her and she started crying and kept crying for a while. I was rushing around getting last minute things done and she was being a good girl again, had her "fairy" which is an over sized purple unicorn that she has named fairy, her blanky in hand along with her chocolate milk, standing near the pantry waiting for me to pick all the bags up and grab the keys to rush out the door. I was ready to go, when splat! She dropped her milk cup and it exploded across the floor! Onto me, the Fairy, her clothes- soaking her entire shirt, my legs, the pantry door, all the way to the fridge.. then she really stated crying.

I cleaned it up and finally made it out the door..
then she cried most of the way to school..
either way, I missed her, lol.

it was all okay. but half way to work I realized that I didn't pick up her frozen yogurt popsicle, and now I'm wondering what it is melting on.. either the coffee table, the couch or the floor.

parenthood.

Hello and Good morning

Rainbows

I'd like to think that writing is good for my heart, it heals my soul and allows me, requires me to think a little deeper than I already do.

This August 29th made two years since my best friend Melody was killed. I don't think I have the time nor heart to write about the details of how I lost her, only that I did, lose her.
Mel was a mother to a beautiful little girl, we called "C."  I say called because I have not seen her since April when she attended my wedding. Which absoultley KILLS me- Its a long, drawn out, heart breaking story. Some day when I have the right amount of strength I will attempt to get all of this out onto paper, which will require a night alone and a glass of wine and some tears. But not right now.

Right now I want to tell you about the rain, little feet in crocks and jumping into "swimming pools for the birds."

I wish I had more time on my way to work to: be on time, to take more pictures, to let my daughter talk to me about nothing but about everything.

Sophia likes to talk, she request "no talking music" on the radio, which means no morning shows for mommy, and also no quite time to reflect in the morning.

The day we buried Mel the sky was covered in rainbows. I mean really, rainbows, everywhere and we all notice it, noticed her in the sky.

This morning I dressed Sophia is her usual bright colors, a yellow sweater, dark turquoise skirt, stripped leggings and a big bow, after all she is sunshine. The weather has been cooler lately, and the grass was wet this morning from last nights thunderstorm. The sun appeared to still be "sleeping" by the time we made it out to my car for our hour long drive into work. I packed her into the car with her blanky and a snack for the long ride, and of course her chocolate milk, which has now become quite the staple in our home.

As we headed out of our neighborhood I could not help but feel that this world is more than we stop to realize. Sophia said the clouds were following us, "see mommy they are following us today, I"m taking them to school with me, and I'm going to share them."  Oh really I said, well we'll have to be sure to share them with your friends.

As I approached the traffic, oh the traffic on IH10 every morning, but this morning is Friday morning. This means that for some unknown reason, there is less traffic. Less traffic is always nice especailly since it began to rain as we approached traffic central where things turn into standstill mode.


My mind tends to wander when traffic hits, or when I hit the traffic. Today I thought of Mel. For some reason when a sad song comes one, I let it remind me of her. Of everything we all lost when we lost her, how senseless her death was, how horrible, but her smile, how she would Always Always answer the phone, no matter what time of day it was, rather it was a phone call or a text message, she always answered.
I missed that. I missed having a best friend, one that I could confide in, one that told me all her deepest secrets and feelings. The drama for the day, for the week. What should I do? She told me one that she loved that she could tell me anything and I wouldn't judge her or talk down about her husband, the cause of the drama. But of course I wouldn't she was my bestie, she did the same for me. Shouldn't every friendship be like this. If only.

I thought of Mel on our way to work, and I turned up the music to drown out the reoccurring inquisitive questions from my three year old. Mommy this and mommy that, and mommy hold this, open my window, its NOT raining, but yes baby it is, see the rain on the windows, NO, she replied as certain that it was not raining as I was certain that it was. My stubborn child.Not sure where she gets that from.
On and on she asked questions, while my mind wondered and pondered Mel, I wanted to feel, even though it is painful, I like to feel it. I like to know that my heart still hurts for her, something in that gives me some kind of piece of her I suppose. I am not sure how to describe it, but any time I can remember her and the wonderful things we did, I fall into it.

Maybe its because my feelings for her and the loss of her are as real as I am going to get to having her again.

Anyway, as Sophia went on and on, I raised my voice and said, Sophia, quiet baby, mommy is thinking.

But I want to think too she said, and she put her little head down and looked sad. Her big brown eyes looked up at me to see if  I was aware of her hurt feelings, and I was. I regreted it as soon as I said it.
Just when I had been thinking about how short life is and how much Mel would be missing out on by not being able to enjoy life with C. Ugh, my darn mouth. I reached back to grab her little hand, her tiny little hand, and I said mommy is sorry baby, mommy was thinking about her friend Mel.

And Sophia held my hand and said, "but mommy don't be sad," "see," she pointed out her window, "she is following us, with those pretty clouds, remember?" " Look mommy, she sent us a rainbow!"

Can you believe it, she actually sent us a rainbow on this rainy morning. I refuse to believe that this is only something that has to do with science, it can't be. After all, Sophia said so.

Oh, the little joys of life, of parenthood. Sometimes I think that at 26 I am too young to have a 3 year old. When I had Sophia I thought I was old, boy was I wrong. I didn't realize how much more life I had to live, how much more I had to do. But now that I have her I feel younger than ever, and I feel more grateful than ever. I have an opportunity to assist God in a miracle,the miracle of life. I have the chance to mold a future, to pick out prom dresses, plan her wedding, buy her a car, send her to college, hold her every chance I get. I get to do all of this, and yes I even get to regret telling her to be quiet so mommy can think.

And for this, for all these little opportunities, I am so grateful.
I look forward to many more long drives with my inquisitive talkative three year old. And even though Mel is not technically here with us anymore, I still feel here, I still know her and we still love one another.

Long Drive- little fingers

So. Now that we have moved to the out-skirts of SA, and not so much in SA anymore, we now have a long commute to- basically everywhere. Wal Mart, School, Work, Target. Which is fine, its worth it for the beautiful neighborhood and being able to see the stars at night.

However, now I have an hour long drive to work everyday thanks to the school traffic. This summer when we moved it only took me 30 minutes to get to work downtown SA, that is not the story anymore. Sophia who attends the Christan Day School where I work is now forced to make this long drive with me every morning. She has lately become quite the demanding little diva. She requires snacks after school, which intails a bag of goodies for her to search through to find the right one for her current mood. She also has begun to dictate rather the music channel is suitable for her or not, it must be playing music and not "talking." 

Needless to say my quite drives to work have turned into an hour long ride of relentless traffic and a demanding 3 year old.

So, what is a mommy to do!? Well this morning I tried something new. I rolled down her window. I was surprised that something so simple could get her to settle down.Only a few short months ago she hated for the windows to be rolled down and would scream about her hair being messed up- yes I know.

So I rolled her window down and let her hear the quite hum of the cars next to us, the freeway when we went under it and she smiled as she told mommy all about the tractors that were "actually working," meaning they were being used and moving.

Then, after all of this we finally arrived to work and school, we giggled and talked on our way to school and then.. and then.. we got inside and I took her to pic out one of our Thursday morning danishes. And I apparently did not give her enough time to pick her own danish, considering that mommy was running late thanks to our friend, traffic: aka. too many cars on the road.

Halfway down the hallway she decided to throw herself on the floor and pout, she was for lack of better words. p'd off. So I attempted to pick her up and carry her to her class room, in my defense, we are still in my office area when she starts screaming at the top of her lungs. Lately we've had a little issue with her putting her hands in people's faces, so guess what, she slapped the danish out of my hand and stuck  her fingers in my mouth, and mommy.. well mommy decided that she would scare her into good behavior by taking a little bite of those fingers. And boy did I regret that! My poor baby was so scared and hurt and fussy from a long ride into work... and she just screamed and screamed all the way to her classroom.

All I could do was hug her and tell her that mommy and her were both wrong and we were sorry. We both apologized to one another, hugged and kissed and I sat her down with a new danish and headed back to the office.

So today.. this morning, our "unicorns" didn't shine so brightly.

I am hopefully off to see my baby for lunch. I'm hoping that if I join her in her classroom that she'll be reminded of how much I love her.

No one is perfect, not her, nor I. It is important to remember that not every morning can be sunshine and rainbows and that sometimes, mommies loose their tempers too. I've come to the realization that forgiving myself for my little things like this has not only an impact on myself but on my parenting as well.

One thing i think is for sure, she won't be putting her hands in mommies mouth anymore and I hope that she'll keep her little hands to herself for now on. And mommy, well mommy will remember to breath.

Sweet Sunday night out!

its been such a long time since my newly-wed husband and I got to go out and have some us time. Which I think is so very important, for our family as a whole. We need that away time to re-kindle our love, to remember that we are people too, and to basically get out and have some fun!
This year Mike's bday falls on Labor Day, which is a Monday.. so lucky him.. we both have Monday off! So that means we get to pretend that Sunday is Saturday! Nice.

Well remember we are always on a tight budget.. so I heard of this free concert on the radio.. over and over again, and was like.. yep we are SOO going to this thing!

No idea who the bands were, or where exactly this place was, but I downloaded tickets and txt mommy in law for a baby sitting play date- free of charge of course.

We got dolled up.. I put on my dancing cowgirl boots..and we headed out to a night of awesome live music, some dancing and romancing.

Finally got to wear my 12.00 skirt! Had this sucker in my closet since May! Geeze! I loved it!

Florida Georgia Line.. um yeah they are freaking awesome! Go check them out! 

This is what we looked like! ha.. my boots and his tenny shoes.. what a statement of who we are! Love it! <3

Lazy Saturday.. shopping, baking and dancing with my little girl

Yay for a 3 day weekend! Thank you Labor Day!

So for some reason I thought we'd have more spending money left over to use this weekend. I suppose the

money fairy

missed our place slightly because by the time Saturday evening rolled around I realized that under budgeted for my husband's birthday weekend.

Sophia and I had the morning all to ourselves on Saturday because Mike had to work.
Although I miss him on these mornings,(because he works most Saturdays- sucky I know) But Phia and I have found our way to enjoy our time together bonding. Plus its nice to not have to be all put together right in the morning. Yes I still do that, we haven't been married that long people! lol

 

Sophia and I went to her dance class.. running a bit late and trying to still be put together! She the one in the pink tutu... well all pink.. her favorite color of the moment.

After dance class she's always starving! as she likes to say, so we stopped by mommies favorite organic Mexican food restaurant, Chipoltle

 And it was delicious! Yes my 3 year old loves to eat healthy.. she loves her salad and veggies. Its is actually quite the job to get her to eat a piece of meat unless its my grilled tilapia- odd I know- but hey it could be worse.

After lunch we shopped till we dropped, got lots of crafty stuff and spent a large majority of my budget on fabric at Hobby Lobby for her soon to be new curtains in her room, pillows and odds and ends that I can't help but dream up! 

Pictures of her room to come soon. 

Saturday night the big partier that I am.. 

I baked the night away.. even after Mike got home. Had some left over bananas so naturally I had to make a Clean version of banana bread and then to top it off.. a Clean version of cinimon swirl bread. 

Links to these reciepes is below.. they ROCK! Soo good!

http://www.eatcleandiet.com/

Jamie Eason’s Cinnamon Swirl Protein Bread

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Mix the following ingredients together in a small bowl & set aside:
    - 1/3 cup Xylitol (or 1/4 cup of Stevia in the Raw)
    - 2 tsp cinnamon
3. Mix the following ingredients together in a large bowl:
    - 1 1/2 cups of oat flour
    - 2 scoops vanilla whey protein
    - 1 tbsp baking powder
    - 1/2 tsp salt
    - 1/2 cup Xylitol (or 1/4 cup of Stevia in the Raw)
4. Mix the following ingredients together in a small bowl:
    - 2 egg whites
    - 1 cup unsweetened almond milk
    - 1/3 cup or 1 4 oz jar of applesauce baby food
    - 1/4 cup low sugar vanilla yogurt (optional - but highly recommend)
5. Mix the ingredients from step 4 & step 3 together.
6. Spray 8X8 dish (I use Pyrex) with non-stick spray.
6. Pour a shallow layer of batter into the dish (about 1/4 of the batter).
7. Sprinkle heavily with half of the cinnamon/sugar mixture (from step 1).
8. Repeat with the remaining batter & add the remaining cinnamon/sugar mixture on top.
9. Draw a knife through the batter to marble.

I'm going to throw this one in simply because it is awesome.. I make it ALL the time and it can be used for so many things!

Salsa Chicken:

Ingredients:
3-4 lbs of boneless, skinless chicken breasts
4 large diced tomatoes
1.5 cups (roughly) of your favorite salsa
2 tbsp granulated garlic
2 tbsp red pepper flakes
1 tbsp black pepper
1 tsp cayenne pepper (if you want to make it spicy)

Directions:

Mix all ingredients in crock pot and cook on low for at least 7 hours.
2.  After 7 hours, shred the chicken in the crock pot and let it cool before placing it in a container.