So. Now that we have moved to the out-skirts of SA, and not so much in SA anymore, we now have a long commute to- basically everywhere. Wal Mart, School, Work, Target. Which is fine, its worth it for the beautiful neighborhood and being able to see the stars at night.
However, now I have an hour long drive to work everyday thanks to the school traffic. This summer when we moved it only took me 30 minutes to get to work downtown SA, that is not the story anymore. Sophia who attends the Christan Day School where I work is now forced to make this long drive with me every morning. She has lately become quite the demanding little diva. She requires snacks after school, which intails a bag of goodies for her to search through to find the right one for her current mood. She also has begun to dictate rather the music channel is suitable for her or not, it must be playing music and not "talking."
Needless to say my quite drives to work have turned into an hour long ride of relentless traffic and a demanding 3 year old.
So, what is a mommy to do!? Well this morning I tried something new. I rolled down her window. I was surprised that something so simple could get her to settle down.Only a few short months ago she hated for the windows to be rolled down and would scream about her hair being messed up- yes I know.
So I rolled her window down and let her hear the quite hum of the cars next to us, the freeway when we went under it and she smiled as she told mommy all about the tractors that were "actually working," meaning they were being used and moving.
Then, after all of this we finally arrived to work and school, we giggled and talked on our way to school and then.. and then.. we got inside and I took her to pic out one of our Thursday morning danishes. And I apparently did not give her enough time to pick her own danish, considering that mommy was running late thanks to our friend, traffic: aka. too many cars on the road.
Halfway down the hallway she decided to throw herself on the floor and pout, she was for lack of better words. p'd off. So I attempted to pick her up and carry her to her class room, in my defense, we are still in my office area when she starts screaming at the top of her lungs. Lately we've had a little issue with her putting her hands in people's faces, so guess what, she slapped the danish out of my hand and stuck her fingers in my mouth, and mommy.. well mommy decided that she would scare her into good behavior by taking a little bite of those fingers. And boy did I regret that! My poor baby was so scared and hurt and fussy from a long ride into work... and she just screamed and screamed all the way to her classroom.
All I could do was hug her and tell her that mommy and her were both wrong and we were sorry. We both apologized to one another, hugged and kissed and I sat her down with a new danish and headed back to the office.
So today.. this morning, our "unicorns" didn't shine so brightly.
I am hopefully off to see my baby for lunch. I'm hoping that if I join her in her classroom that she'll be reminded of how much I love her.
No one is perfect, not her, nor I. It is important to remember that not every morning can be sunshine and rainbows and that sometimes, mommies loose their tempers too. I've come to the realization that forgiving myself for my little things like this has not only an impact on myself but on my parenting as well.
One thing i think is for sure, she won't be putting her hands in mommies mouth anymore and I hope that she'll keep her little hands to herself for now on. And mommy, well mommy will remember to breath.
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